


No Promises

by Milanjones8888



Category: Station 19 (TV), Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Baby Gay Alex Danvers, Drunk Alex Danvers, F/F, Hurt Alex Danvers, Inspired by Grey's Anatomy, Jealous Lena Luthor, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lesbian Lena Luthor, Protective Alex Danvers, Soft Alex Danvers, Supergirl (TV 2015) Season 5, The DEO | Department of Extra-Normal Operations, station 19 - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:34:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29396307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milanjones8888/pseuds/Milanjones8888
Summary: Alex only has an eye for Lena, she begins to love the woman, with all her heart and soul, and gathers her courage to convey that feeling to Lena, but she finds out that Lena is not on the same page as herself.. and Carina Deluca is there with the same wound, holding Alex's hand to recovery together..
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Carina DeLuca, Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 11
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I watched station 19, and instantly fell in love with Carina Deluca, and imagining her being together with Alex seems like a great idea

"Alex don't stop, don't you dare to stop...." Alex didn't dare to stop, she was sucking fast, and her fingering never disappointed Lena. Lena immediately started to feel the sensations of orgasm build up. Then Alex felt Lena's pussy clench tight around her fingers, and she watch Lena's neck throw her head this way and that as her hips rode out waves after wave.  
  
Alex lifts her body so that she can look at the woman in the eyes, Lena still closes her eyes, usually Alex will kiss Lena's sweet lips, but this time she kisses Lena's forehead with one sweet move, her wet lips feel so soft on Lena's forehead, making Lena open her eyes in surprise.  
  
The look in Alex's eyes was familiar, it was the look that that make Lena almost get used to it, such as drinking coffee in the morning, and science novels at night. But Alex's eyes get soften tonigh.  
Lena knows Alex is always a gentle person, and that's what's made her comfortable being around Alex the last few months. No one's ever been so gentle with her, all her life. Soft but strong at the same time, and Lena isn't used to it, but she likes it anyway.  
  
"What? something in my face?," ask Lena, Alex on top of her body, Alex's eyes above her eyes, usually Alex will quickly go to the bathroom, or roll over next to her, pull a blanket to cover their body, and tonight is quite cold, and Alex has been staring at her for too long.  
  
"No, you're just.."  
  
"Just what?," Lena raise an eyebrow, a little smile on her voice.  
  
"You really want me to speak?"  
  
"Of course i wanna know if there's something wrong with my face. I will be in conference call with Hongkong in an hour and just in case if you are ready for round two, maybe i don't have time to look at the mirror."  
  
"Lena.. it's not that.. Lena i--"  
  
"What's wrong with you tonight, Director?"  
  
Alex tilts her body a little, so her eyes meet again with Lena's eyes, she is the director of the strongest organization in the United States, she fights with different kind of Aliens everyday, and it is very funny if she can not say three words eight letters to this woman.  
  
But this is not ordinary woman, this is Lena Luthor.  
  
"Lena, you know i love the time when we're together, and i wish someday i have the courage to---"  
  
"To build serious relationships once again? After Maggie i mean?"  
  
"Yes, after Maggie, i--"  
  
"You can just tell me when you already find one. It's okay, you know?"  
  
Alex can barely believe what she's hearing. "What do you mean, _Lee?_ "

  
  
Lena actually knows what Alex wants to say, and this is the thing she's been avoiding all this time, but the way Alex call her name..  
  
"Yeah, I'm not holding you here. You know, you can always find a serious relationship, or a future wife. I know what you want about marriage, I always knew, we all always knew, Alex.."  
  
"O--Okay.. i got it."  
  
They were so close that Lena can saw the break in Alex's eyes. She can even listen to Alex's very strong heartbeat even though she doesn't have super-hearing.  
  
And Alex got out of bed. "DEO thing," Lena heard as she wake up from the king size bed.  
  
With shaking hands Alex looking for her clothes on the floor and almost get frustrated when she couldn't find her underwear, she almost decided to put her pants on and skip the things, but leaving her underwear here sounds ridiculous, and she doesn't even know if she's going to come back to this place, where she's been warming up her bodies for a few months.  
  
"Alex, i-- " But Lena didn't know what to say because Lena's heart, brain, and mouth were all on different pages, simple as that.  
  
"It's okay, miss Luthor, i forget something in DEO, i have to go."  
  
Alex forced a smile, an awkward smile that's actually adorable for Lena. Lena's been in love for times, but never like this, and she doesn't want this to be love. She likes to be around Danvers sisters, and she lose every person she loves, and she doesn't want to lose any of her Danvers sisters, let alone both.  
  
Lena heard the sound of the door slamming quite loudly. Alex never slammed the door. Alex was never mad at her, and Lena knew this time she was making trouble. She once forced Alex to eat kale salad, and Alex ate it with pleasure, then a large glass of kale juice and Alex drank it with a smile on her face even though Lena knew she wanted to throw up. And Lena once took Alex to a cat shelter on their day off because Lena was silently love cats and Lena didn't know that Alex was allergic to cats and Alex just wanted to make her happy so Alex had a severe allergy when her whole body felt itchy and her breath was tight, and Alex wasn't mad at her at all.  
  
And that's why she can't be in love with Alex, because it's too risky...  
  
  
  
  
Alex drives her bike really fast, with no definite purpose. Maybe she'll go to the DEO and punch some punching bag until her hands are bruised or going to the bar and spending a few bottles of whiskey. But when she's stuck at a red light that she can't avoid, she groped something around her belt and she realized that she left her gun on Lena's kitchen table. They both got too deep in lust when they arrived to Lena's apartment, and Alex undressed Lena on the kitchen counter, then put her gun around there. And Alex is feeling really sloppy right now and she's texting Lena.  
  
_  
Alex Danvers : i left my gun, in your kitchen.  
  
Alex Danvers : Can someone delivery it to me to the DEO?  
  
Lena Luthor : Found it..  
  
Lena Luthor : You just can come right back here when you're done there.  
  
Lena try to push her luck.  
  
Alex Danvers : I can’t..  
  
Alex Danvers : I mean, I'll probably be done in a long time..  
  
And Alex Danvers never been a good liar..  
  
Lena Luthor : Then you can pick me up at breakfast, you said you wanna try the Dimsum at down the street.  
  
Alex Danvers : Just bring it with you to the office at the morning, i'll sent Vazquez  
  
Alex Danvers : Because i’m not really sure how long it take until it's done..  
  
And Lena know its sounds like goodbye because Alex never rejected her before.  
  
_ Alex was on a dangerous mission one day and Lena was desperate to eat salmon steak at the time. And Supergirl dropped Alex off on time at the L-Corp balcony, and they ate steak with Alex still in her tactical gear that night.  
  
And Lena swears she's going to give Alex time to think that this is the best for her and Alex. Like between her and Kara, the difference is there's no sex between Lena and Kara and they're just fine. Alex is a genius, she must have realized that Lena was right, Alex just need time, then Alex will come back to her with a smile on her face and they can go back to normal again..


	2. Chapter 2

And Alex lets herself sit in the alien bar for hours, where Maggie once turned her down in the past, and on the spot they used to date when they were together, in a place where she's been more often come when she's not with Maggie anymore, half of it because she expect to see Maggie again there because she really miss that girl, and the other half she is afraid to meet Maggie after the break up, afraid that she would come to her and beg Maggie to come back, because after all Maggie was once her fiancée.  
  
And everything changed when she start having crush on Lena. Alex still remembers that night, they all together, there was Kara, Jhon, Winn, James, Sam, even Lucy, and of course Lena Luthor, everyone in their circle think that Alex had a heavy crush on Sam, absolutely, because Sam is really match with everything Alex ever want in her life.  
But when they played truth or dare that night after they all half drunk, Alex picked dare, and Winn asked her who she wanted to marry between the girls, 70 percent of people thought Alex would answer Sam, and another 30 percent have a bet on Lucy, because Lucy and Alex always have something, it's just that they rarely get together and Alex is deep inside the closet when Lucy often to tease her.

No one thought that Alex would answer Lena, not even Lena herself. And maybe Lena won't forget Alex's eyes back then.  
  
Lena always knew Alex's eyes were brown, and warm, like the warm coat she often wears in the winter, and Alex is always a good person, and Alex is a caretaker, Lena always wished to have a sister like Alex, as much as she did and Lena never said anything about it in public.

yes, she admires Alex, Alex is a clearly a baddas, but she's already close to the young Danvers, so between her and Alex, there's always a distance.  
  
_"Between who, clarify the question, _dummy.."  
  
_  
Winn holds his chest, pretends to feel hurt that Alex calls him dummy. "Yeah, all these women here tonight playing this with us, there are no exceptions, Kara is include, because you both are not a real sister, right?"  
  
Kara laugh, then punched Winn's arm, too hard, Winn cringed, worried there was a broken bone.  
  
"Give the answer Director Danvers, you're running out of time."  
  
Alex stares at all the beautiful girls in front of her, of course besides Kara. She didn't have to answer, or she can just say Lucy, because she doesn't care and Lucy also won't care. But she's very drunk, and Lena Luthor is so hot tonight, Alex was half-dead holding back from staring at Lena's ample cleavage from her tight dress, and her very annoying red lipstick Alex can't stand, the feeling that she buried on the nights they were together in the lab, screaming tonight.  
  
And with half a whisper, and a deadly stare, Alex looked into miss Luthor's eyes, as if there was no one else in the room. "it's Lena..."  
  
Alex just stopped staring at Lena when she realized Kara was choking on her drink, in shock. "What's wrong with you, Kara?"  
  
"No, no i'm okay, Alex.. but why? Lena my best friend? are you drunk?"  
  
Sam looks at Lena who is also in shock, with a very visible seductive stare, and Lena's face is blushing and she can't hide it. it's not the because of Alex's answer but it because the way Alex say it.  
  
"Damn, Danvers, if it's not Ms. Perfect Arias, then it should be me," Lucy grumbles, half laughing, and Lucy can see her ex-boyfriend James Olsen frowning because of his new feelings towards Lena Luthor.  
  
"What? i'm not marrying you, Lane, it's horrible.." Alex put on a spooky face and made everyone laugh including Lena, making Lena feel a little relieved because she doesn't have to be in an awkward state because of the older Danvers. What can be more horrible than having a Luthor as a wife?  
  
But Alex knows Lena is staring at her with the tip of her eye, when Winn looks at Alex with a very curious face, as if he was not expecting that answer at all from Alex.  
  
"But why Lena?"  
  
"What? do I have to give you the reason?"  
  
Alex hardly hides the nervousness in her voice. If she's stay any longer in this conversation, she's afraid her secret will come out, and she's afraid she's going to hurt her little sister, because it's not impossible for her little sister to have a crush with her best friend.  
  
"Of course you have to make it clear, before we analyze it ourselves."  
  
"Okay, okay.." Alex raises her hand in the air as she accidentally catches Lena's eye staring at her as Lena sips the whiskey in her hand, Alex knows the woman's attention is not on her drink. Her eyes are half blue and half green, and it clearly making Alex's knees feel very weak. But Alex is a highly trained agent, she can certainly hide anything, including her feelings.  
  
"Kara is my dear little sister and Lucy is so mess up like me, and Sam--" Alex pauses and looks at Sam with a glance, giving a sweet smile to Ruby Arias's beloved mother.  
  
"Sam turns out to be my best friend and i respect her very very much to not having a romantic feeling for her, and Lena? Lena is really hot, right?"  
  
Alex said while she sips her drink, this time she did not dare to stare at Lena's face, and that whiskey was too much and hurt her chest when she empty a glass with one shoot.  
  
They are all still in silent including Lena, as if they are not at all satisfied with Alex's answer.  
  
"What? did i said something wrong? Lena Luthor is really hot, isn't it, James? You are with me right?"  
  
"Of course," James answer quickly before Alex heard Lena sigh in her glass, while she sips her last glass.  
  
"Thanks for the compliment Director Danvers. And I'm sorry to hear it during the truth or dare games." Said Lena, this time it was her who gave Alex a defiant stare, and her raised eyebrows didn't helping the situation.  
  
Alex blushed, and it somehow became deeper shade of red as it travelled down her neck.  
  
"Aww, Director Danvers, are you blushing because of me?" Lena looked at her while crossing her arms in front of her chest, still holding an empty glass in her hand.  
  
And Alex uses the self-defense skills she's learned over the years. "Ms. Luthor, i have the same respect to you, you're the best of friend of my little sister, and no matter how hot you are, I'll certainly respect you the way i should."  
  
Alex replied with a sweet smile, something in her gaze knocking ice on Lena's cold heart that night. Lena doesn't know what it is, but she knows Alex Danvers is something.  
it's different from her feelings for Kara, she was very happy around Kara to the point that she was afraid that it was a romantic feeling. But against Alex Danvers, it's scarier.  
  
  
  
And their first kiss happened three days later. In the DEO lab when Alex walks past her lab, Alex notice an amazingly charming goddess is busy with the microscope and doesn't realize Alex is staring at her from the open door for a few seconds. Alex takes a deep breath before she enters her lab, Her heartbeat could have been clearly heard in this very quiet lab.  
  
“Hey…” Alex says in between gritted teeth.  
  
Lena flinches in surprise as she strains her neck from the microscope to face Alex in her polo DEO shirt, Alex hasn't worn her polo shirt for a long time after she became the Director. The CEO smiles awkwardly, looking at her with warm eyes.  
  
Why warm? because they are sober, they are not drunk, and they are good friend to each other.  
  
"You still here? Where's your tactical gear? It's a quiet day, _eh?"_  
  
"Yeah, it's a good day for National city, and Kara's on patrol making sure everything's safe." Alex said while closing the door behind her, then walked awkwardly towards Lena.  
  
Alex looks at her with awkward eyes, “I just came in to check up on you,” She mumbles, "And I want to apologize to you about that night.."  
  
And since Lena was just silent, Alex continued to talk. "I'm a little drunk, but as a grown woman I shouldn't blame the alcohol. Yes, you're breathtakingly beautiful Lena, but it doesn't change the situation that you're my sister's best friend, and if you don't mind, i consider you are my best friend too, and i-- " Alex takes a deep breath and really look at Lena, they've never stand this close, and Alex is really sober right now, and she finally finds out her feeling for Lena Luthor is real.  
  
"You didn't say beautiful that night."  
  
"I know.. i know.. i said you're hot and it's true. And if it offends you, I'm really sorry.." Alex looks defeated, like a little kid caught stealing candy, and it's so adorable to Lena.  
  
"You were very different that night, and if I didn't see it wrong, you stared at my lips more than twenty times that night."  
  
  
"Oh, Lee.. i'm so sorry." Alex is really blushed and she need both of her hands to cover her face.  
  
Lena can't resist not chuckles at that, she grabbed Alex's hands that covering her face, it was the first time Lena touched Alex personally, not in terms of work, and obviously it made Alex's body feel warm. "Easy, Alex.. hey.. i'm just teasing you.."  
  
Alex looks a little relieved, and her hands are still in Lena's grasp and their faces are too close right now. "Don't do that Lena, i'm sorry okay.. trust me, i'm not a horrible gay, don't be afraid of me, okay?"  
  
And Alex's puppies eyes at that time made Lena melt and she don't know what impulses make her move forward and press her cold lips to Alex's, and stay there a few seconds, Alex lips are wet, cold just like hers, and feels like peppermint.  
  
And after a few seconds of silence, Alex was the first who pull back.  
  
"Lena, what is this?," Alex hisses, their faces are still very close, and Alex's hands are still in Lena's and Alex doesn't want to let go yet, because if this is a dream, she's afraid of waking up.  
  
"Director Danvers, as you say, we are a grown woman, and if you want to kiss me, you just can try to ask for it, and if I agree, maybe we can---" This time it was Alex who press her lips to Lena's.  
  
"Hmm.. it's been a long time since I've wanted to do this." Alex whispers against her lips, kissing her softly and soundly, their tongues swirling around one another, Alex pulled Lena's body tighter and held Lena's waist with her hands, Alex's kiss remained soft but deep, and slowly the hand caressed her back until finally the hand reached Lena's long hair, Alex sank her finger in Lena's hair and pulled the woman closer, as if not wanting to leave a single inch between them.  
  
it was a long kiss and being slow at last before it ends when Alex stepped away. Alex resist the urge to follow, shoving her hands in her pockets, resist the urge to do more.  
  
Lena knows Alex Danvers wants more. Lena realized Alex was holding back and no one has holding back for her sake, no one. And the way Alex took off her lab coat that night, after that sweet kiss, made Lena's heart really melt.  
Alex only helps her take off her lab coat because Alex wants to drag her out of the lab because it is getting late, Alex treats her sushi for dinner that night, they have a good chat, they both love science and no one talks about the kiss at dinner.  
  
Lena thought Alex would only take her to the front of the cab when dinner ended and felt a little surprised when Alex followed her into the cab, she even more surprise when Alex refused when Lena offered her into her appartment, Alex just put a light kiss on her cheek before say goodnight and goodbye, and the night when they first having sex happened long after that day.  
  
  
_It tooks two empty bottles of whiskey by the time Alex realized she'd left her wallet in Lena's apartment.  
  
"Shit.." Alex mumbles, it's two in the morning and she realized she could only call two person, it's Kara and Lena. Since she can't call Lena she dial Kara's number. Kara Danvers didn't answer after Alex trying for three times, and Alex can fuck her self when she realized she also left superwatch on Lena's.  
  
"Lost your wallet? Or you forget to bring it?"  
  
A voice she didn't recognize suddenly sounded next to her ear. A woman who's sitting next to her start to notice Alex who was frantically groping her leather pants and jacket pockets.  
  
"That's a long story.. but i'm perfectly in trouble."  
  
"Calm down, maybe you left in somewhere, and you definitely can't remember it right now after drinking this much."  
  
The way this girl said _definetaly_ is make it clear that she's not an American, and from her face and skin she maybe an Italian or French.  
  
"Do you remember your name?" She asks again and Alex just wants to laugh.  
  
"Of course, i'm Alexandra Danvers."  
  
The woman smilling at her, and held out her hand for Alex.  
  
"I'm Carina Deluca and it's my first day on National City. And Alexandra was a great name, it sounds familiar to me."  
__


	3. Chapter 3

If Alex can choose. She would chose to sleep all day today. Her head hurts so much, like she just got hit by a truck. She know she drank too much last night. This bad habit's been going on since she was in college. Alcohol was always a place where she stopped in the end. Alex twists her body to look for her phone, realizing her phone battery is only ten percent left. And fuck it, she's single, and lonely and DEO has her own communication device for urgent things, and Kara can fly to her apartment's balcony at any time, and Lena Luthor won't text if she doesn't want someone to hook up.  
  
_And Damn....  
  
Lena Luthor...  
  
_  
Alex feels like throwing up. She almost confess her feeling for Lena last night. Alex tries to remember again, whether they were drunk last night, so Lena could have forgotten what was almost being their conversation last night.  
  
_And hell.. the answer is no.._  
  
They're watching a romantic comedy in Lena's living room, Kara was supposed to join in, but Kara suddenly had a date with William, who wasn't even her boyfriend, and left Lena and Alex for Girls Night. Kara actually knows something happened between Lena and Alex but never wants to ask for details, because Kara knows romance thing is a pretty sensitive thing for her favorite best friend and her only sister, so she just let it be and giving they time to figure it out.  
  
And seventy percent of sex between Alex and Lena only happen when they are drunk, _or half drunk_. They didn't drink any kind of alcohol that night, but rather the hot chocolate Alex made for Lena, and two boxes of pizza so Alex had to say goodbye after the movie finished and the ending song played.  
Lena leaned on Alex's shoulder that night, the most comfortable place for her in recent months, of course Kara's shoulder as well, and Lena also leaned on Kara's shoulder in an uncalculated amount even before Alex Danvers was coming to the inner circle of her life.  
But then again it was Alex Danvers, Alex Danvers is much different from Kara Danvers and Lena was honestly already falling asleep twenty minutes before the movie end, that day was quite tiring for her, and the way Alex hesitates to wake herself up from the couch is quite adorable.  
Lena is semi-conscious as Alex moves super slowly and super gently so as not to wake her up, and FYI Alex also embraces her shoulders throughout the film and caresses her hair as well. And the peak is Alex was caught kissing her on the cheek after pulling a blanket to cover her body on her expensive couch which was even more comfortable than Alex's bed.  
  
_  
Lena opens her eyes lazily as she realizes Alex's cold lips are touching her cheek. And her hand reflexes to hold the hand of the older Danvers so that Alex's face is only a few inches from her face and silently Lena twist her genius brain to find an excuse to reply to that kiss, not on the cheek, but rather at Alex's lips.  
  
"Already going to leave?"  
  
"Can't find a reason why I didn't." Alex answer, barely more than a whisper. To be honest she was really fascinated with Lena Luthor's sleeping face and never had the courage to say it or actually she didn't dare to hear Lena's answer.  
  
"One more movie, maybe? Zombie?" asked Lena, her face currently looks younger, and funny.  
  
"Don't be ridiculous. You was sleeping like a baby, _princess.._."  
And the way Alex said baby and princess at the same time honestly brings butterflies in her stomach.  
  
"What if I ask you a favor to take me to my bedroom and put on my pajamas, because I'm so tired tonight for doing it myself?" Lena raised her eyebrow, purses her lips.  
  
"So it means that i have to undress you first?"  
  
And Alex didn't wait for the answer... _

  
  
Alex was going to make coffee for herself when she heard a knock at her door. Her brain is thinking fast and she knows who's behind the door. She know the knock and it becomes too familiar right now until Alex have to convince herself if she's ready to lose it all right now?  
  
"Alex Danvers, open the door, i know you're still there."  
  
Alex sighs before leaving the empty glass to walks toward the door and open it for her. The first thing Alex see when she open the door is Lena Luthor in her CEO suit, so perfect that Alex isn't sure that Lena is real, not a silhouette made of advanced technology or a character in a comic book. Because how can a woman can be so sexy, beautiful, and genius at the same time?  
  
"Hi.." Alex greets awkwardly, still in a half open door.  
  
"Do you want to let me in? Or i would put your gun, wallet, and half your socks in front of the door?"  
  
Alex wanted to laugh but she knew that this wasn't the right time, so she left the door open wild as Lena walked in.  
  
Lena put the three things she mention earlier next to Alex's coffee cup and started pouring a few spoonfuls of coffee powder in the glass then mixing it with hot water, it's not the first time Lena made coffee in Alex's kitchen.  
  
Usually Alex would stand around Lena, even if she does not touch the other woman. It's been months since Alex Danvers has never been in this distance if they're in the same room.  
  
"I think we need to talk," said Lena while stirring her coffee.  
  
"That's why you made the coffee?" Asked Alex, her Agent-Danvers's look is ON, not a puppies Alex's face.  
  
Lena just nodded, and Alex's heart pounded so hard. She forgets that she hasn't shower yet, and she's still wearing her boxer and tank top, and Alex is so sexy that Lena almost forgot why she came here at the first place.  
  
"Alex, we're both grown woman..." Alex nods, still in her Agent-Danvers's mode.  
  
"i just want to make sure what you trying to tell me last night.." Lena seems hesitant but she realizes she has no other choice at this moment.  
  
"Okay, I don't think there's anything bad going on here. You just want to hoking up, and I feel okay with that. Anyway, my detective girlfriend left me so how's a Lena Luthor--"  
  
"Alex, you know it's not like that?"  
  
"So what is that?" Lena was quite surprised by Alex's response. And no matter how hard Alex's efforts are to hide her feelings, Lena believes that she saw the crack in the redhead face.  
  
"Alex, I don't wanna lose you.."  
  
"And how could you ever lose me if we just--"  
  
"I can't lose Kara either." Alex saw the glimpse in Lena eyes, her eyes get soften right now.  
  
"In what perspective? Afraid of losing Kara if it didn't work between us? or losing Kara because you had feelings for her while we’re standing here talking about our sex activity?"  
  
it took a few seconds before Lena answered. "Both.."  
  
And Alex's trying to adjust her heartbeat rhythm when she's even not sure her heart's working properly because there's just been a thousand needles poking right in there.  
  
"Okay, i guess i see it coming. But Lena, you can't sleep with me if you have feelings for my little sister and I'm sure my little sister is eighty percent has the same feelings for you but she didn't dare to put a name on it."  
  
"I am.. my self, not sure, Alex.. you know, Kara was the first person to make me feel like my life meant something, but at the same time it took years for her to be honest with me, did you know what is like?"  
  
"Of course, i know.. so you two just need time to figure it out. I think everyone is aware of what happened between you two. And somehow you two always find a new date, Kara and that stupid William, and you with James.. oh God.."  
  
Alex wants to say herself and Lena as an example, but feel ashamed because maybe Lena does not even count her.  
  
"You think so?" asked Lena, Lena let her self to look at Alex's eyes from behind her eyelashes. The conversation about Kara wasn't in her plans, but if she wants to be honest with her self, that feeling was there, but the ship sailed on that possibility when she found out Kara lied to her for over three years.  
  
"Yes, i think so. You already forgive her about Supergirl thing. That's a good sign, it was a good start."  
  
"And we've been sleep together for months." Lena hisses.  
  
"Yup, and if it's okay to you, then it's okay for me too, and anyway I also slept with some woman before you and it's not a secret."  
  
Alex is believe that she is a talented actress and she is considering becoming an artist if she retires from the DEO one day.  
  
"So i'm not hurting you?"  
  
"Of course not.." Alex shrugged her shoulder.  
  
"And what you saying last night is..?"  
  
"I'm just trying to tell you that we've been having sex for too long and if you're interested in the next step I'm ready for that. And it turns out you have feelings for my little sister and it shouldn't be a surprise, so it's okay, i'm still on your side, Lena. You're a good friend of mine after all." Alex gave a fairly long and dramatic -full of lies- speech, and close it with her best smile.  
  
"And why are you standing so awkward and so far away from me right now?” again, Lena raised one of her eyebrow, that eyebrow game Alex love the most if it's not in this conversation. There's a new expression on Lena's face, an expression Alex doesn't know and hasn't seen before. And Alex was too lazy to figure it out because her heart was badly hurt. But how could she get hurt so badly if it means happiness to her little sister and her best friend?  
  
"Of course, not. Come, i'll give you a hug."  
  
As she walks towards Lena, she rubbed her shaking hands like she was craving but she wasn't, it's just that the pain had spread all over her body and made her hand shaking, and the next second Lena Luthor is in her arm that she can feels Lena's breath on her neck. Alex close her eyes while she sucks on Lena's scent, and prepare to remember her scent if only this is the last time she had Lena Luthor in her arms.  
  
Alex doesn't want to hug this woman for too long because she doesn't commit to suicide so she rushes away. "I didn't shower from last night so i might ruin your expensive suit."  
  
"Don't be ridiculous, i've seen you worse than this. And to be honest, you smell like alcohol and cigarettes, are you drinking overnight in the bar instead of being in DEO?"  
  
"I went to the bar after DEO things done. Blind date with someone from Tindr.  
  
"I didn't know you have Tindr."  
  
"I have it for a while but didn't really get to used it, but now i’ll give it a try"  
  
"Did it went well?,"  
  
Alex smiling again. "it was pretty good till I'm committed not to sleep with her before i could taking her on a real date."  
  
"Hmm okay.. so?"  
  
"yeah, that's it. Stop being awkward Lena.. please, we just hooking up for few months and we didn't do it everyday. So we can easily going back to first point."  
  
"I don't want the first point. You even hate me at first," Lena said with an amused chortle.  
  
"Okay, okay.. we're a good friend now and you can still take me to the Dimsum, but.. not today."  
  
_Because i just need to burn my self down right now..  
_  
"Okay.. see you, Alex.."  
  
"See you, Lena.."  
  
"Remember to solved things with Kara, you two idiots." Alex said before she properly closed the door. She smiled genuine this time, a sincere smile for the woman she may falling too deep.


End file.
